Tag Archives: stupid

Maybe not everybody should vote

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Hey Kids! Try this at home!

Fire Tornado!

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New alcohol spray gets you drunk immediatley, but only lasts for a little bit.

If you want to get moderately drunk for only a short period of time… if actually drinking seems like too much for you, there’s now an alcohol spray available in Europe that will get you tipsy with a single spritz. The downside is that the drunkenness only lasts for a few minutes, so you’ll have to keep spritzing to keep up with your friends.

Designer Phillipe Starck and scientist David Edwards of “Le Whif” chocolate fame (what’s with this guy and putting things in aerosol cans?) have introduced an alcohol spray called Wahh Quantum Sensations. The spray gets you momentarily drunk with, supposedly, no side effects — it delivers 0.075 milliliters of alcohol per dose. So it’s for people who want to be drunk without drinking and only for a short time?

Sounds like a potentially severe threat to America’s youth. But don’t worry: it’s currently only available in Europe where a 21-shot cans costs 20 euro (US$26).


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Teenagers drinking Purell to get all sorts of fucked up


In July of 2010, I read an article about how tasty Purell hand sanitizer is that read something like this:

Purell. The most popular liquid hand sanitizer in the US is not only good for getting nasty germs off your mitts, but did you know that it’s also surprisingly tasty? It’s true! The clear alcohol-based gel has a surprisingly sweet and lemony taste, reminiscent of limoncello or a lemon drop.

Now I don’t advocate actually drinking Purell, but it’s not going to hurt you to put a tiny drop on your finger to taste it. Mmm, sweet lemony liquory goodness. It wasn’t I that discovered this… that thanks goes to a co-worker who out of the blue said “Hey, have you ever eaten Purell?”

After some experimentation, I determined that a dab of Purell does tastes kind of like a lemon drop, sort of sweet and tart. And today, there are stories about teenagers drinking the shit to get drunk. Well… stop making it so damn yummy.

Six teenagers have shown up in two San Fernando Valley emergency rooms in the last few months with alcohol poisoning after drinking hand sanitizer, worrying public health officials who say the cases could signal a dangerous trend.

Some of the teenagers used salt to separate the alcohol from the sanitizer, making a potent drink that is similar to a shot of hard liquor.

“All it takes is just a few swallows and you have a drunk teenager,” said Cyrus Rangan, director of the toxicology bureau for the county public health department and a medical toxicology consultant for Children’s Hospital Los Angeles. “There is no question that it is dangerous.”

Although there have been only a handful of cases, Rangan said the practice could easily become a larger problem. Bottles of hand sanitizer are inexpensive and accessible, and teenagers can find distillation instructions on the Internet.

“It is kind of scary that they go to that extent to get a shot of essentially hard liquor,” Rangan said.

In addition to the teenagers who intentionally drank the sanitizer, younger children also have accidentally ingested it in the past.

The liquid hand sanitizer is 62% ethyl alcohol and makes a 120-proof liquid. A few drinks can cause a person’s speech to slur and stomach to burn, and make people so drunk that they have to be monitored in the emergency room.

Doctors said this is the latest over-the-counter product that teenagers have adapted for a quick high. Teenagers have done the same with mouthwash, cough syrup and even vanilla extract.

So… BREAKING NEWS: Teenagers are stupid and in a pinch, will try all kinds of household chemicals to get fucked up.

Snopes has an article about keeping Purell away from children due to intoxication and poisoning, but just a tiny dab won’t hurt you. You’re a grown up. DO IT. Also, Snopes mentions that most hand sanitizers have bad-tasting ingredients. Obviously, they’ve never actually had Purell, which is quite tasty.


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11 things the Bible forbids other than homosexuality (that you’re probably guilty of)

If you are one of the morons who thinks being gay is unnatural and spend your time complaining about how it’s ruining the world, well you’re an absolute idiot. Here are some other things that the Bible forbids so you should probably start campaigning against all of these too:


Leviticus 19:28 states:

Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.

Rounded Haircuts

Leviticus 19:27 states:

Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.

Consulting psychics

Leviticus 19:31 reads:

Regard not them that have familiar spirits, neither seek after wizards, to be defiled by them: I am the LORD your God.


Leviticus 19:16 states:

Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbour; I am the LORD.


Eating a ham sandwich

Leviticus 11:7-8 reads:

And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he is unclean to you.

Of their flesh shall ye not eat, and their carcase shall ye not touch; they are unclean to you.

Getting remarried after a divorce

Mark 10:11-12 states:

Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

Working on the Sabbath

Exodus 31:14-15 states:

“Ye shall keep the sabbath therefore; for it is holy unto you: every one that defileth it shall surely be put to death: for whosoever doeth any work therein, that soul shall be cut off from among his people.

Six days may work be done; but in the seventh is the sabbath of rest, holy to the LORD: whosoever doeth any work in the sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death.

Women speaking in a church

1 Corinthians 14:34-35 states:

Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.

And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

Eating shrimp, lobster, and some other seafood

Leviticus 10-11 states:

And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:

They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.

And of course…

Loosing your virginity before marriage

Deuteronomy 22:20-21 states:

But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel:

Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father’s house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you

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This fucking guy

Yes, this shit again. But Joe Arpaio, sheriff of Maricopa County, Arizona has spent the last six months with a team of cops and detectives investigating the whole birther mystery and after six months of examining a PDF document he got off the internet, he somehow concluded that Obama’s long form birth certificate is probably a fake.

An investigative “Cold Case Posse” launched six months ago by “America’s toughest sheriff” – Joe Arpaio of Arizona’s Maricopa County – has concluded there is probable cause that the document released by the White House last year as President Obama’s birth certificate is a computer-generated forgery.

The investigative team has asked Arpaio, who is at a news conference in Phoenix live-streamed by WND TV that began at 3 p.m. Eastern time, to elevate the investigation to a criminal probe that will make available the resources of his Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office.

The posse says it has identified at least one person of interest in the alleged forgery of Obama’s birth certificate.

Arapaio, known for his strict enforcement of immigration laws, commissioned the investigative team after local citizens presented him with a petition expressing concern that Obama might not be eligible for Arizona’s presidential ballot.

In addition to the live-streaming, WND is making available to the public a report distributed to media today by Arpaio’s investigators.

The posse, comprised of former law enforcement officers and lawyers with law enforcement experience, has interviewed dozens of witnesses and examined hundreds of documents. It also has taken numerous sworn statements from witnesses around the world.

Mike Zullo, Arpaio’s lead investigator, said his team believes the Hawaii Department of Health has engaged in a systematic effort to hide from public inspection any original 1961 birth records it may have in its possession.

“Officers of the Hawaii Department of Health and various elected Hawaiian public officials may have intentionally obscured 1961 birth records and procedures to avoid having to release to public inspection and to the examination of court-authorized forensic examiners any original Obama 1961 birth records the Hawaii Department of Health may or may not have,” Zullo said.

The investigators say the evidence contained in the computer-generated PDF file released by the White House as well as important deficiencies in the Hawaii process of certifying the long-form birth certificate establish probable cause that a forgery has been committed.

Yes, that’s right. In order to try and figure out if a document was a forgery, Arpaio and his team spent six months examining a PDF file of the document. And what did they find? The PDF file had layers. LAYERS! You hear that Obama?

If you watch the videos on World Net Daily, you’ll see that Arpaio basically “discovered” the same thing that Birthers and others discovered the same day the PDF version of the birth certificate came from the White House— the PDF contains layers in which various bits of the document are contained and that the compression artifacts aren’t consistant across the document. That proves nothing. Trying to validate a paper document from a PDF is impossible, especially if you don’t know the who’s had it and what the process was to scan it.

Yes, it has layers, but the layers don’t have any logic behind them.

Also, if you really want to get into it, you would notice that it’s clear the document wasn’t “forged” using a computer font and that not a single character is exactly the same, meaning it was most likely typed on a typewriter. And if someone went through the trouble to add slight variety to each individual layer to forge such a document, you don’t think they would then have the sense to merge everything into a single layer afterwards? It’s one click.

I know I’m mostly preaching to the choir here, but as a graphic designer, I feel the need to rant on how incredibly fucking moronic this is. So how did these layers happen? Who fucking cares? Probably some secretary somewhere scanned it straight into Microsoft Word or something equally awful that did weird things to the image.

Okay, I’ll shut up. I don’t even know why I’m still going on about such an obvious load of shit.


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