Daily Archives: 07/15/2012

Amazon to offer same-day delivery and completely destroy all actual real-life stores

If you thought Amazon Prime or Amazon’s 2 day shipping just wasn’t efficient enough, apparently the site is now striving towards same-day delivery. As in you order in the morning and have your product in your greedy little hands by lunch. It seems absurd now, but think how convenient that would be for all the internet addicted shut-ins we have? Yeah, that’s probably you. Regardless, if Amazon can pull off same-day shipping, why would anybody want to go to a store where they have to pay more, deal with shitty sales people, and pay for gas when they could just sit on their ass? They wouldn’t.

A report in the Financial Times states (registration or subscription is required) that Amazon believes same-day shipping will be more important than not collecting taxes from online shopping.
According to CNN:
Amazon has fought hard to avoid collecting sales tax during its 18-year history by setting up distribution centers in select tax-friendly states. But a new report in the Financial Times says the company is changing its strategy, setting up distribution centers across the United States in locations that insist on collecting sales tax. With the exception of Kansas, Kentucky, New York, North Dakota, Texas and Washington, items sold from Amazon.com LLC are not subject to sales tax.
That’s the beauty to Amazon — it’s usually cheaper than retail because there’s no sales tax. Assuming you live in a state where sales tax is not collected, the only caveat to shopping on Amazon is that you have to wait for the item to be shipped to you, which could be several days, depending on availability.
If Amazon offered same-day delivery, it could mean not having to make that trip to Walmart after work, which means less driving, less money spent on gas, and more time for you to do things that you care about.
Slate’s Farhad Manjoo seems to nail what we’re feeling (bolded for emphasis):
It’s hard to overstate how thoroughly this move will shake up the retail industry. Same-day delivery has long been the holy grail of Internet retailers, something that dozens of startups have tried and failed to accomplish. (Remember Kozmo.com?) But Amazon is investing billions to make next-day delivery standard, and same-day delivery an option for lots of customers. If it can pull that off, the company will permanently alter how we shop. To put it more bluntly: Physical retailers will be hosed.

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First Trailer for “Oz The Great and Powerful”

Last week I posted THIS poster that had been released to promote James Franco’s next film, “Oz the Great and Powerful.” A couple days ago the trailer was released, and it looks, well, weird and magical.

In the upcoming prequel to the 1939 classic The Wizard of Oz, James Franco stars as Oscar Diggs, “a small-time circus magician with dubious ethics” who finds himself in the Land of Oz, where he thinks he’s hit the jackpot. That is, until he meets three witches, Theodora (Mila Kunis), Evanora (Rachel Weisz) and Glinda (Michelle Williams), who aren’t convinced he’s the great wizard everyone’s been expecting.

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Rockstar games announces that the next Grand Theft Auto game will be biggest open sandbox game EVER

Grand Theft Auto games have been getting bigger and bigger with every version. Yesterday at San Diego Comic Con thought, Rockstar announced that the next version, GTA V, won’t just be the biggest GTA game ever, but the biggest open sandbox world in any video game in the history of video games. It will be so big that driving across it would be impractical and that flying a plane or helicopter might be the only way to get from end to end.

“The city was simply too small for effective and enjoyable flying,” the Q&A explains. “It was the first time we made a high definition open world, and it was a massive amount of work to make something on that scale.” But, the ability to control more flying vehicles will return in Grand Theft Auto 5. “Fear not, they are returning in what is our biggest open world game to date,” the post teases.

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In honor of tonight’s Breaking Bad Season 5 premiere; Here is Gus Fring as a child on Sesame Street

Giancarlo Esposito, the actor who portrays meth distributor Gustavo “Gus” Fring on Breaking Bad, played a much less menacing character named “Mickey” on five episodes of Sesame Street in 1982.

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Here’s a daymaker for you

I don’t know why I enjoy this so much, maybe because I love this piece so much, or maybe because everybody seems so genuinely affected by being a part of this but this video is one of the most beautiful videos I’ve seen in a while and it brought a tear to my eye.

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Ed Helms may be cast as an adult Rusty Griswold for four new “Vacation” Movies

New Line Cinema has been wanting to make more “Vacation” movies ever since Chevy Chase did such an amazing job in the originals. There is now a lot of speculation that Ed Helms has been in talks with the studio to play an adult Rusty Griswold who leads his family on his own ridiculous vacation adventures which I’m guessing will end just as badly as they did for Chevy.

Helms would play Rusty Griswold, the son of Clark Griswold played by Chevy Chase in the “National Lampoon’s Vacation” franchise.

Helms was rumored to be involved in the project earlier in the year, but New Line was still closing in on a director before offers were made to thesps.

“Horrible Bosses” scribes John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein are directing from a script they penned.

The new version of the vacation adventures of the quirky dad and his family will follow Rusty, who now has his own family misadventures on the road.

David Dobkin will produce through his David Dobkin Productions banner.

If Helms’ deal closes, production would aim for a spring start after Helms finishes production on “The Hangover 3” and his stint on “The Office.” In that time, New Line will aim to cut the script down a little in order to bring in to the budget they like.

Well that makes me feel better about a new series of Vacation flicks. Helms is a funny actor, and one I can definitely see taking over the Griswold family.

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THE BEST NEWS EVER: BILL MURRAY ANNOUNCES US PARTY CRASHING TOUR!

Bill Murray party crashing tour

Bill Murray has been known to crash random parties in NYC and a couple other cities in the US. Most reports say that he always brings something to offer the host, is incredible nice and polite, and has a great time with almost everyone. I’ve always wanted, more than anything, to have a chance to party with Bill Murray, but as you can imagine, I didn’t think I would ever get the chance being that he typically only does it in NYC. A few days ago however, I read a story about Bill Murray doing a national party crashing tour and my hopes and dreams were reignited. Although Bill himself hasn’t spoken to the press, his agent, Paul Horner, gave out the details, as well as the tour schedule, and you can take a guess as to when I’ll be in Minneapolis.

Mr. Murray did not speak to reporters but did have his agent Paul Horner answer some of their questions and make a few statements. “Mr. Murray is looking to take a vacation around the United States. He’s hoping that if he shows up to your party with a bottle of wine or vegetable tray, you will be able to make the proper accommodations for him. This includes allowing him to sleep on your couch or in a spare bedroom, both of those options being completely acceptable.”

Now in order for Bill Murray to come crash your party, his agent says that there are a few conditions:

Horner continued to explain some of the conditions of the tour to reporters. “All we ask is that if Mr. Murray does decide to crash your party, please give him his space. He’s a human being, just like you and me. He’s just looking for a good time and a fun way to connect with fans.” Horner then went on to explain more details about the tour, “At these parties, Mr. Murray does not want to be called ‘Bill Murray’ but instead wants to be referred to as ‘Kaiser Soze’. Activities that Mr. Murray enjoys are drinking and karaoke. Having those two things at your party will definitely increase your chances of him making an appearance. Also it is extremely important that any house or location interested in participating have a sheet or banner of some kind attached to their establishment the night of the party. It must say in big bold letters, ‘BILL MURRAY CAN CRASH HERE’. This will let Mr. Murray know at what locations he is welcome.”

The Bill Murray Party Crashing Tour will kick off August 1st in Phoenix, Arizona and will end September 10th in Austin, Texas.

Now lets all call the Bill Murray Party Crashing Tour Hotline: (785) 273-0325 and tell him to come to Madison, WI for a night or two, eh?

Bill Murray Party Crashing Tour signs

Bill Murray Party Crashing Tour signs

Bill Murray Party Crashing Tour signs

Bill Murray can crash here signs

Bill Murray can crash here signs

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Mediocre Cartoon of the week

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