Daily Archives: 06/16/2012

One man’s game of Civilization II that’s been going on for ten years

For the past ten years, a Redditor by the name of Lycerius has been playing the same game of Civilization II. the three-civilization war he’s been fighting has been at a stalemate for over one thousand years, with the entire campaign currently at 3991 A.D., with things pretty much at a standstill for quite some time.

Lycerius is fighting a war against the Vikings and the Americans, while he is playing the Celts. Everything about his current campaign is hilarious. Lycerius was trying to play as a democracy, but was forced to switch to communism to survive. The way a democratic nation works in Civ II is that you can’t usually instigate a war while you’re in peacetime, but every single turn the Vikings would automatically attack, thus breaking the treaty. His citizens wouldn’t allow him to start the war before the Vikings inevitably attacked, so the democracy put him at a disadvantage. Funny, that. Even funnier, the Vikings and the Americans, the other two superpowers, are theocracies.

In order to survive the onslaught of Viking and American troops, Lycerius is forced to dump all of his resources into the war effort, rather than city improvements that would maintain some level of citizen happiness, including a store of food. Due to this, the citizens are always unhappy — a sore point for people who played the earlier games in the Civ series.

Whenever his troops make any sort of advance on the front lines, the computer opponents immediately nuke the effort, not only destroying the advancing units, but making the surrounding land inhabitable, rendering any sort of terrain improvement impossible. Late game worker units, Engineers, have an ability to clean up the pollution left from nuclear fallout in order to make the terrain usable once again, but are stuck in a cycle of building roads to help the war units travel to the front lines faster, as his front line units and roads get destroyed every turn by pillaging enemy forces.

The land that hasn’t been destroyed by nuclear war has been turned into swampland, which isn’t farmable, due to the ice caps having melted twenty times, and the Engineers don’t have time to clear the swampland for the same reason they don’t have time to clear the nuclear pollution. Ninety percent of the world’s population has died off due to nuclear war or famine caused by global warming.

The current war has been fought for around 1,700 years. Because of the SDI improvement, ICBMs aren’t usually used on cities, so any type of city attack is carried out through the use of spies infiltrating a city and planting an explosive.


It’s the 21st century and you don’t have a robot that mows your lawn?

The John Deere Tango E5 not only operates in all weather, it also doesn’t make that loud, annoying “lawnmower sound” or require any emptying of grass clippings. It also returns to its charger when its battery gets low, won’t open the pod bay doors.


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Watsky remixes Dre’s “What’s the Differences”

If you have respect for spoken word, rap, or cleverness; you have to have some respect for Watsky. The kid is a genius, a profound wordsmith, and one of the most talented lyricists I’ve ever seen. Here are some of my favorite Watsky Performances from remixes, to spoken word, to rap:

4AM Monday (remix):

Letter to my 16-year-old self (spoken word):

Mrs. Robinson (Song by Watsky and Mody Ft. Danny McClain):

Ten Fingers (spoken word):

S for Lisp (spoken word):

Watsky Raps Fast (rap):

Go Big Young Friends (spoken word):

G.O.A.T. (rap):

Nothing Like the First Time (spoken word):

Energy (live rap):

Stupidass (song):

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Website of the Week: Shaking Food GIFs


This one is pretty straight-forward and will result in several Pinterest related orgasms. Now HERE is the site, leave me alone, I have to go buy some Wild Cherry Pop Tarts.

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Cracking an egg 20 meters underwater

FUCK YES! Attack the Block director Joe Cornish signed on for Snow Crash movie

There had been a little bit of talk for a while about a movie based on Neal Stephenson’s sci-fi novel ‘Snow Crash’, but I had all but given up on it until today, when Paramount announced they had hired director Joe Cornish to head the project. Recently, Cornish had been praised for his direction of Attack the Block. If you haven’t seen Attack the Block, or read Snow Crash, I highly recommend you go do both of those things as soon as humanly possible.

It’s the second go around on the project for Paramount, which first developed the book back when it was published in 1992. It is a big bestseller and a seminal cyber-punk book that probably was ahead of its time. The book is set in the near future, when the U.S. exists as a patchwork of corporate-franchise city-states, and private enterprise and the mafia control everything. The plot involves a computer virus that is manifested as a drug called Snow Crash that is transmitted visually from computer screens to unsuspecting users, frying their brains. Hiro Protagonist – that’s the character’s name – a computer hacker/samurai swordsman/pizza delivery driver who investigates and tries to stop the takeover of postmodern civilization. It sounds wild, but it is steeped in its own mythology and has become a cult favorite among the cyberpunk set. Paramount dropped the project years ago and it went to Disney with Kennedy/Marshall and languished. Kennedy introduced Cornish to the book, he committed and it is now back at Paramount and is a priority. Cornish is repped by CAA and Independent Talent and the book was repped by CAA for the lit agency Darhansoff & Verrill.


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Paramount temporarily shuts down production fo Michael Bays Ninja Turtles movie

Just as Michael Bay’s TMNT movie was about to go into production, Paramount halted the project temporarily. Temporarily is the key word. Apparently, studio execs weren’t at all happy with the script, so it’s being sent back for rewrites and the release date has been pushed back to spring 2014. We almost dodged a bullet, but not quite.

The issue is said to be the script. Paramount has delayed several big movies from this year to 2013, including G.I. Joe: Retaliation and Brad Pitt’s World War Z, leaving it with a spotty pipeline for the current year. Now it has halted work on its planned holiday movie for 2013, temporarily laying off preproduction staff and informing those prepping the film that the work stoppage is “indefinite,” according to sources. Another source close to the production says the movie has been pushed by ten weeks.

A Paramount rep would not immediately comment.

Michael Bay’s Platinum Dunes is producing and Jonathan Liebesman (Wrath of the Titans) is set to direct from a script by Kevin Eastman and Josh Appelbaum and Andre Nemec. Other key players include Bourne franchise line producer Denis Stewart and second-unit director Dan Bradley (Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol).

The move comes as analysts have been knocking Viacom’s Nickelodeon division for lower ratings. The Ninja Turtles project, a joint Paramount-Nickelodeon production, was eyed as a chance to bolster Nickelodeon as well as reboot a family film franchise. The studio had paid a hefty sum for rights to the property, which had been the basis for three hit movies for New Line Cinema in the 1990s.

In May, Viacom CEO Philippe Dauman touted the Ninja Turtles reboot in a call with investors. “Our pipeline is extremely strong,” he said. “We’re developing more new [episodes] of our popular series and more exciting new series. And of course, we’re particularly excited about the revival of the [Teenage Mutant Ninja] Turtles franchise.”


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NY Giants defensive end Justin Tuck gets the coolest facemask ever

This facemask looks like what I would imagine a NFL facemask would look like in Game of Thrones.

“The idea is he doesn’t want to get grabbed,” said [Giants equipment director] Joe Skiba, who was honored this offseason with the Whitey Zimmerman Equipment Manager of the Year Award. “But then it becomes one of those situations where when you make a facemask with so many bars like that how much weight is going to be too much weight. So what Schutt did was we made that out of titanium, which is light as a feather. You can feel his helmet now, it feels just as light.”

Tuck, who has suffered from neck injuries during his career, believes the tighter cage on this facemask will prevent opponents from grabbing onto it and jerking his head around.

It is also surprising to learn that NFL players are free to have helmets custom-made for them, given the league’s propensity for draconian uniform regulations. Perhaps Tuck’s mask will inspire other players to inject a little style into their headgear. Maybe Jared Allen could get a facemask on which the bars form an American flag pattern.


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