Daily Archives: 04/17/2012

Physicist writes a mathematical paper to get out of a traffic ticket

You and I, mere mortals as we are, get a traffic ticket and either accept it or come up with some idiotic sounding excuse like “Uh, I didn’t see that stop sign” or “I didn’t know I was speeding because I was texting”. But physicist Dmitri Krioukov of the University of California San Diego wrote a god damn mathematical paper on why he shouldn’t get a traffic ticket.

Faced with a court hearing over allegedly driving through a stop sign, he put together a paper called The Proof of Innocence, which he has since published. The abstract for the paper reads: “A way to fight your traffic tickets. The paper was awarded a special prize of $400 that the author did not have to pay to the state of California.”

Krioukov’s argument is based upon the premise that three coincidences happened at the same time to make the police officer believe that he had seen the physicist run a red light, when, in fact, he hadn’t. He writes: “[In this paper], we show that if a car stops at a stop sign, an observer, e.g., a police officer, located at a certain distance perpendicular to the car trajectory, must have an illusion that the car does not stop, if the following three conditions are satisfied: (1) The observer measures not the linear but angular speed of the car; (2) The car decelerates and subsequently accelerates relatively fast; and (3) There is a short-time obstruction of the observer’s view of the car by an external object, e.g., another car, at the moment when both cars are near the stop sign.”

As Physics Central explains, because the police officer was around 30m from the intersection where the stop sign was situated, “a car approaching the intersection with constant linear velocity will rapidly increase in angular velocity from the police officer’s perspective”.

The physicist even created graphs showing what happens would have happened to his angular velocity if he had either been driving at a constant linear velocity or had made a quick stop then accelerated back to speed, which is what he claims happens (actually, he sneezed, causing him to brake harder than usual). It was during this sneeze stop that another vehicle obscured the police officer’s view of Krioukov’s car, argues the paper.

The conclusion of the paper? It isn’t the police officer’s fault but he/she was wrong as their “perception of reality did not properly reflect reality”. Bet that’s a statement the other officers loved to remind them of.

Like a boss.


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Remember that mass murderer from Norway? He pleaded self-defense to the 77 counts of murder.

Last year, Anders Breivik went on Norways’s worst kill-crazy rampage since the days of the Vikings, killing seventy seven people in an afternoon after setting off a bomb in the middle of Oslo before taking a boat to an island and gunning down dozens of innocent teenagers at a summer camp. Yet Breivik pled that he did what he did out of “self defense”. Obviously.

Anders Breivik told the court he acknowledged the mass murder but pleaded not guilty, claiming it was done in self-defense as part of his war against “multiculturalism” in the European nation.

He expressed no emotion as he entered his plea but broke down and had to wipe away tears when the court played a portion of a propaganda video he had made in support of his new “crusade” in Norway.

Breivik is accused of carrying out the July 2011 bombing in Oslo, Norway, that killed eight people, followed by a shooting spree at a nearby youth summer camp that claimed another 69 lives.

Before the massacre, Breivik posted a 1,500 page manifesto online in which he said he was just one operative in the beginning of a violent Christian conservative revolution in Europe led by a group called the new Knights Templar. Breivik had planned on a 60-plus year struggle against mutliculturalism until the Knights would take control over Europe, the manifesto said.

A court official pointed out today that in a picture Breivik had apparently taken of himself, he had digitally altered the image to include a patch that read, “Multicultural Traitor Hunting Permit… Tagging Not Required… No Bag Limit.”

Breivik said today that he did not recognize the authority of the court since it got its “mandate from the Norwegian political parties who support multiculturalism.”

In his manifesto, Breivik said that getting arrested and put on trial was just another part of the overall plan.

“Your arrest will mark the initiation of the propaganda phase,” he wrote. “Your trial offers you a stage to the world.”

A panel of experts recently found Breivik was sane and fit to stand trial, contradicting an earlier psychiatric report that said Breivik suffered from paranoid schizophrenia. Both Breivik and some of the families of his victims objected to the first diagnosis.


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Which side are you?

Click on the image for the full size picture.

I’ll almost guarantee that most people who visit this site are right side oriented.

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Hey fatties

AND A FREE MUSTARD DRIZZLE?!?! Why didn’t you say so!?

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The absolute best hockey picture I have ever seen

So tastefully well done, and the smile on his face says it all.

Lets see how long it takes until puckingsports nabs this one too

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Tattoos; including one of the best I have ever seen in my entire life

Here is the one that just really takes the cake, well done sir:

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